Thank You Clinton-Gore

Recently, I was on vacation in a city far more liberal than our family oriented Valley. As my wife and I were enjoying one of those guided trolley tours I spotted a bumper sticker that caught my attention and it has stuck in my mind ever since. The bumper sticker said, “Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore.” Each time this message runs through my mind I think of the many things for which we can thank the Clinton-Gore administration. Here are just a few:

· Thank you for making John F. Kennedy look moral, Jimmy Carter look competent and Lyndon B. Johnson look truthful.

· Thank you for hacking our military strength and morale down to fraction of its former level.

· Thank you for allowing decades of nuclear research and development, supercomputer technology and ballistic missile designs fall into the hands of your friendly campaign contributors, the Chinese.

· Thank you for teaching America that sexual harassment in the workplace is totally acceptable as long as you understand the more creative definitions of the words “is” and “sex.”

· Thank you for teaching other corrupt politicians the many new methods of laundering illegal campaign contributions, including the utilization of Chinese Monks.

· Thank you for teaching a new generation the concept of impeachment and what happens to Presidents who practice the politics of deception and lie to Congress under oath.

· Thank you for helping promote the movie industry by taking the ridiculous plot of “Wag the Dog” and making it real.

· Thank you for remembering the families of the many members of your inner circle who’s lives came to an abrupt and mysterious end, including: Ron Brown, Vince Foster, Les Aspin, Jim McDougal, Jerry Parks, Admiral Boorda…and the list goes on and on.

· Thank you for teaching an entire generation of elementary school children about the intricacies of oral sex. I’m sure there are millions of parents who really appreciated explaining what our president was testifying about and why he would wag his finger at the American people and disrespect the office of the Presidency.

I could go on but I realize that there is only so much room to print the endless list of things that I am thankful for from the Clinton-Gore administration.